“Rock of ages, you have brought me near. You have poured out your life, blood, your love, and your tears, to make this stone heart come alive again. Rock of ages, forgive my sin.”
Now that I’ve lost it all, I realize I had it. I had a home, full of wonderful memories. I had a church that I loved full of people I knew. I had a youth group with a fantastic teacher. I had friends, and best friends. I had a place where I could lead worship in singing. I had a place where I could use my gift of photography often. And for a sixteen year old teenage girl that was enough. In fact it was plenty.
But now it’s gone.
This church is full of strangers with even more unfamiliar hallways. It’s empty of children running around all over the place. And it’s empty of my dearest friends. I no longer get to use my voice to lead the congregation with RUF songs. I no longer have anything close to the business I once had. To me, a young teenager halfway through high school, I’ve lost it all.
I wouldn’t mind it really, if I just knew why. If I knew what I was supposed to do next I wouldn’t mind. But I don’t. I’m lost. There is no longer anything for me to chase after or prepare for. It has all been given up, and I think I succeeded in doing it quietly. Nobody really knew how much it hurt, and still hurts that I had to leave it all behind.
Tonight it hurt a lot. It was unbearably painful to allow myself to remember that I’m alone without a purpose. To try and calm down I opened up my handy-dandy Spotify to find a song to listen to.
Sandra McCracken’s, Rock of Ages was my song of choice.
The verse that made me realize it all, is the one above.
“Rock of ages, you have brought me near.
You have poured out your life, blood, your love, and your tears…
To make this stone heart come alive again.
Rock of ages, forgive my sin.”
Tonight was huge reminder.
Christ had it all. He had everything with God.
But he gave it up. He lost it all.
He gave his blood, his tears, his love, and his life.
For me. To make my stone heart come alive again.
For me he gave it all up. He lost much more than I did, and yet He did it willingly. He came down to this earth, to revolve around us. If He did that for me, then who am I to complain about losing it all, when I should be serving Him. Living for Him in every aspect of my life. Especially when I have nothing better to do, and even when I have a million other things to do.
My comfort is gone, because it’s not about my comfort. Has a person ever come up with a good idea inside the box? Not really. But when we step out of the box, out of our comfort zones, or rather when we’re pushed…
We have nothing else but God.
But He is our Rock of Ages.